Self Esteem: seemed like a good idea!

Alongside the leotards and step classes, the 1980's saw the self-esteem movement leap into the social conscience, and flood bookshops, to address an issue ... 

People needed to be set free from limiting beliefs and low expectations. 

How did that go? If you really want to know just get out there and take a look.

I'll give you a clue, it did not go well.

We've now got all the attitude and entitlement with no reason and no responsibility. It's all about them, they're special, they're talented, they're attractive, they're amazing, at least in their own mind. They bought into the delusion and haven't found a way out.

Sadly for the rest of us they are lazy, stupid, uncaring, useless, pointless, self-absorbed and moronic. Thanks largely to all the books by the pop-psychologists who saw a gap and filled it with their drivel. Not forgetting the videos and courses and workshops and one-to-one coaching to amend the residual self-image, even though at best it only hides it for a while (that's why it's residual - there's a clue in the words).

It didn't work.

Some courses even awarded ribbons, badges, accreditations and certificates to reinforce the new you.

Instead of realising the pointlessness of it all and abandoning it in favour of something better, most of what we can find in the current personal development sphere is dusted-off old stuff or rewritten old-stuff with a new label, supported by a coloured logo or model title. Those who embarked on the journey to greatness are strangely still on it and haven't moved very far, even though they are able to describe their limitations with a label and have identified the next step they now need to take.

The next course will be the 'One'

... Is the predominant thought as the credit-card is handed over to the latest snake-oil sales specialist. It won't. They said that last time, but the great thing about cognitive dissonance is its ability to help us forget important lessons as we head face-first into the next one.

In the meantime, just on the other side of the table, is the provider. There are a few who are deliberate manipulators, but there are also many who are stuck in their own journey without a destination. They don't just sit with you as a fellow traveller, they sell tickets. At least for them their passage is paid.

Attacking the Status Quo will make them Angry

Life is complicated and difficult. The minefield of managing yourself in modern society means many want an absence of distraction, preferring the status quo to radical ideas encouraging change and effort. Understandable, yet not a good enough reason for some of us to remain quiet when we feel something has to be said, something has to be challenged, and something better can emerge from it.

When you see something that shakes your current beliefs, and it comes like a knock on your door when you're safely ensconced in your armchair with a warm cuppa, slippers on, and engaged with the latest episode of your favourite television programme, what are you most likely to do?

Some will ignore the knock and continue watching, others will get up and walk to the door in a mild but increasing anger at the thoughtless and unwelcome intrusion.

Even though they don't know what the visitor is there to ask, offer, share or give.

I expect some will rise up and defend the situation with the same energy they'd find if a friend was under attack, and experience has shown me that often their defence isn't a rebuttal of the new concept or criticism of the way it is, but more likely a personal-emotional response to the disturbance it creates. It's easier to bat it back than it is to allow the idea in, consider it carefully, and then make a choice. These moments are easy to spot: the speed of response is lightning quick, and similar to them putting their fingers in their ears and shouting la-la-la.

It's not a response at all.  It's a reaction.

I may well have done the same in the past. I might do the same in the future. I don't know for sure because it's usually more about when it happens and less about what's actually happening. 

That's why it's not only funny; it's why I won't stop!