Part One: Networking Not Working?

Seems everyone does it, some do it well, others not so, 

but does it work for you or is it just hard work?

The State of Networking

I’ll avoid any reference to electronic social media and stay on-topic with face-to-face networking and in particular the clubs, groups and events where it takes place, since for many it is their initial experience of what it is to go networking. Sadly for many who have, they are disillusioned with the effort it takes and the lack of rewards that come; if that’s you … read on.

Same old faces, same stories, same fatty bacon … same, same, same … and everyone who goes is sad, lonely or both.  But is it true or are you finding a simple mantra to exclude yourself from an activity that most agree is essential for your business success? You can’t cold-call prospects any more, leaflets don’t work, ads in the locals go unread, and do you even have a Yellow Pages?

A bit about Networking Groups:

Networking has been labelled and processed to formatted meetings and it will serve you well to remember it existed before BNI, the most prominently placed networking organisation in the UK and many other groups that have also grown locally, regionally and nationally. Real networking was practised well before the groups were formed and it is still practised in its natural form outside of such meetings. Far from a diatribe against any groups, as they are all serving a purpose and some people derive true value from them, all I suggest is you do not restrict your networking to one place. If they fail to encourage and enable you to successfully network elsewhere you run the risk that you’ll end up giving more than you gain, by missing networking in the wider scope, and that’s where the disillusionment begins. I believe that when a referral takes place within a meeting, where the giver and getter have paid a subscription, and it leads to business, the organisation has no more rights to claim credit for its value than Muirfield or The Dog and Duck where other deals are struck over golf or a pint.

So what do you expect at a networking meeting when you first attend? To be greeted by someone with an official role, an officious tone to accompany their given title, the requisite air of self-importance, who then rids you of your meeting fee and proceeds by dumping you off with a dull regular who fails miserably in their task of making you feel comfortable. It’s unlikely to be that bad although the reticence to attend in many suggests it’s the norm.  

Good news! It’s not all doom and gloom and in the two parts of part two I’ll cover some of the key things you can do to make your networking more fun, more effective, and possibly help you to want to do it … One thing is certain, the better you are, the better your results will be.

Part Two: (i) Getting it on with Networking Groups

So you already know that it might seem difficult, it may be made difficult and yet there’s gold to be had and you want in with a networking group.

Groups of varying size, quality, timing and expense have meetings going on and you need to cut through the maze and find what suits you best. The bad news is that I don’t believe there’s a hard and fast, consistent rule or list of questions that will conclusively give you the answer … but counter that with their typically warm and often helpful welcome and you’re off to a good start. Finding a group where you feel you will both fit in and achieve your own aims is essential, and only you will know what that feels like. Avoid any pressure to decide on the first or even fourth variant in terms of committing, but tackle it like any project where you are discerning what feels good and will work for you. Distance, time, the day of the week or month, how many people you meet, the average attendance, the venue, the quality of breakfast if it’s a breakfast group, will all be potential factors in your decision. Ask questions of existing members as well as the leaders, they are a great source of information.

Whilst preparing this article I spoke with John Welburn, who’s both a personal friend and the founder of the networking group Refer-On. John shared:

“There are considerable numbers of opportunities to network, maybe too many. I see the beginnings of a backlash in the Thames Valley. Why? People are appearing at too many events, not focusing on those that attract the right type of people to grow their own network.” He added  “If you do anything half-heartedly you begin to find that it becomes boring. Humans need to feel that change is happening to feel fulfilled. If you keep going to networking events dishing out business cards and selling, you will not be the centre of attention for long. Too few people follow up. We are lazy, we prevaricate, we are afraid of being told 'no'.”

I don’t intend to list, through risk of perceived endorsement or omission, what groups exist and I don’t know where you are geographically either as you read this. I encourage you to try, to attend, to see what works for you … with one caveat - do not fall into the trap of thinking that a once-weekly meeting is the total sum of networking activity. It should be your focus, if that’s what you decide, your chance to try new things with people you get to know well, recruit ambassadors and become an ambassador for others. But there’s a big world with lots of people who don’t go to your or other groups, so be open to connecting with them too, and learn how.

Part Two : (ii) It’s all about YOU; or is it?

The motivation you need to get up and get on with it lies within; somewhere!

Being prepared seems so obvious it could go without mention. Personal hygiene to having some business cards on you is either something you’ve mastered or the rest of this post is irrelevant.

What do you really need to ready for when you attend an event? You may have your story, an elevator pitch, a sixty-second presentation, a proposed list of attendees, an ambition to meet (.......) you fill the gap here, but what about the expectations of others, similarly turning up with their own aims, what have you got to offer them? 

Turn up and take may get you some short-term wins, you may even stumble upon your next client or customer, but true networking is a long game and there’s no better time to start than now.

If you’re unsure how to engage new people in conversation when you meet remember - I guess you’ve heard this one before - ‘people love to talk about themselves’. But what should you ask them? “What do you do” is so hackneyed it’s hardly worth asking, unless you add “that really makes a difference” or “that you really enjoy” or something similar. Engage their passion, not a recital of the same response they’ve already shared with many others, and they will remember you.

When speaking with new people see them as contacts. Not suspects, prospects or some other sales pipeline label, imagine them as someone able to connect you to another who is not in the room, because that’s exactly what they are. Don’t expect them to spill a list of people to you in two minutes, however charming, disarming, smart or wonderful you are. Good networkers know that with a recommendation goes their reputation. The person you meet through their introduction is already their contact. Consider what you’d need to know about someone you’ve just met before recommending them to one of your friends or relatives and make sure you tick those boxes first, and know it can take several meetings.

But I want business and I want it now! Go for that if you think it will serve you; you will be back later trying to do it properly, and may be remembered as the ‘pushy one from a few months back’.

Ask yourself “If I recommend something to one of my contacts am I someone of influence?” If you’re not a person of influence, and that just may be true, it’ll be the first thing you work towards. Ready for an ouch? If you said 'yes' quickly to the question you probably aren't.

Try to be helpful, keep your mind open, maintain your focus on meeting new people, avoid pitching to them, discover commonalities and possibilities, set a time to follow up and don’t try to do it all there and then. Oh … and the helpful bit that nearly slipped by: helpful people are seen as natural leaders, there’s enough sheep-people around and we don’t need any more.

Step-up and lead; they will follow.